SEXUALITY AND ISLAM
Questions & Answers
Etiquette of intimate relations
Islam teaches us everything as to how to eat , dress, etc...is there also a Sunnah way of sleeping with one's wife.is any position Sunnah or is there nothing in Saheeh Hadith with regard to this?
Praise be to Allaah.
Yes, you are right: Islam teaches us all things and has brought all good teaching to mankind concerning their livelihood, religion, living and dying, because it is the religion of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted.
Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explain and to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire. Islam connects it to a righteous intention, supplications (adhkaar) and proper conduct which lift it up to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explains this. Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) says in his book Zaad al-Ma’aad:
"Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance, whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and enjoyment, and it may fulfil the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes:
1.The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reach the number of souls that Allaah has decreed should be created in this world.
2.Expulsion of the water (semen) which may cause harm to the body if it is retained.
3.Fulfilling physical desires and enjoying physical pleasure. This alone is the feature that will be present in Paradise, because there will be no producing of offspring there, and no retention which needs to be relieved by ejaculation.
The best doctors suggest that sex is one of the means of maintaining good health.
(al-Tibb al-Nabawi, p. 249).
And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Among its benefits is that it helps to lower the gaze, brings self-control, enables one to keep away from haraam things, and achieves all of these things for the woman too. It brings benefit to a man with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and benefits the woman too. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to enjoy regular intimate relations with his wives, and he said, "In your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me." (Narrated by Ahmad, 3/128; al-Nasaa’i, 7/61; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim).
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/92; Muslim, 1400).
(al-Tibb al-Nabawi, 251).
Among the important matters which should be paid attention to when engaging in intimate relations:
1.Having the sincere intention of doing this thing only for the sake of Allaah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one's wife from doing haraam things, to increase the numbers of the Muslim ummah so as to raise its status, for there is honour and pride in large numbers. It should be known that one will be rewarded for this action, even if he finds immediate pleasure and enjoyment in it. It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "In the sexual intercourse of any one of you there is reward" (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife). They said, O Mesenger of Allaah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Do you not see that if he were to do it in a haraam manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halaal manner, he will be rewarded." (Narrated by Muslim, 720).
This is the great bounty of Allaah towards this Ummah; praise be to Allaah Who has made us among them.
2.Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to play with his wives and kiss them.
3.When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: "Bismillaah, Allaahumma jannibnaa al-shaytaan wa jannib al-shaytaan maa razqtanaa (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah Keep us away from the Shaytaan and keep the Shaytaan away from what You bestow on us (our children))." The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: If Allaah decrees that they should have a child, the Shaytaan will never harm him." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/187)
4.It is permissible for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina in whatever manner he wishes, from behind or from the front, on the condition that it is in her vagina, which is the place from which a child is born. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to say that if a man had intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child would have a squint. Then this aayah was revealed: Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "From the front or from the back, so long as it is in the vagina." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 8/154; Muslim, 4/156).
5.It is not permissible for the husband under any circumstances whatsoever to have intercourse with his wife in her back passage. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. It is known that the place of tilth is the vagina, which is the place from which one hopes for a child. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "He is cursed who has intercourse with women in their back passages." (Narrated by Ibn ‘Udayy, 1/211; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 105). This is because it [anal intercourse] goes against the fitrah [natural inclinations of man] and is an action which is revolting to those of a sound human nature; it also causes the woman to miss out on her share of pleasure; and the back passage is a place of filth and dirt – and there are other reasons which confirm the fact that this deed is haraam. For more information see Question #1103.
6.If a man has intercourse with his wife and wants to come back to her a second time, he should do wudoo’, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If any one of you has intercourse with his wife then wants to repeat it, let him do wudoo’ between the two (actions), for it is more energizing for the second time." (Narrated by Muslim, 1/171). This is mustahabb (recommended), not waajib (obligatory); if he is able to do ghusl between the two actions, this is better, because of the hadeeth of Abu Raafi’ who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went around his wives one day and did ghusl in this one’s house and in this one’s house. He (Abu Raafi’) said: I said to him, O Messenger of Allaah, why do you not do one ghusl? He said, "This is cleaner and better and purer." (Narrated by Abu Dawood and al-Nasaa’i, 1/79)
7.One or both of the spouses have to do ghusl in the following situations:
0.when the "two circumcised parts" meet, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When the circumcised part meets the circumcised part (according to another report: when the circumcised part touches the circumcised part), ghusl becomes waajib (obligatory)." (Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim, no. 526). This ghusl is obligatory whether ejaculation takes place or not. The touching of the circumcised parts means that the glans or tip of the penis penetrates the vagina; it does not mean mere touching.
1.Emission of semen, even if the two circumcised parts do not touch, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, "Water is for water [i.e., the water of ghusl is necessary when the "water" of semen is ejaculated]." (Narrated by Muslim, no. 1/269).
2.Al-Baghawi said in Sharh al-Sunnah (2/9): "Ghusl for janaabah [impurity following sexual discharge] is waajib in either of two cases: when the tip of the penis enters the vagina, or when gushing water is emitted by either the man or the woman." For more information on the details of ghusl as prescribed in sharee’ah, see Question # 415. It is permissible for the husband and wife to do ghusl together in one place, even if he sees her and she sees him, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel between me and him; we would take turns dipping our hands in the vessel and he would take more than me until I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me.’" She said, and they were both junub (in a state of janaabah). Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.
1.It is permissible for a person who has to make ghusl to sleep and delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer, but it is definitely mustahabb for him to do wudoo’ before sleeping, because of the hadeeth of ‘Umar, who said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), Can any one of us sleep when he is junub? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Yes, but let him do wudoo’ if he wishes." (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, 232).
2.It is forbidden to have intercourse with a woman when she is menstruating (having her period), because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an adhaa (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have prufieied themselves, then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina). Truly, Allaah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers, etc.)." [al-Baqarah 2:222]. The person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating has to give a dinar or half a dinar in charity, as it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) obliged a man to do when he came and asked him about that. This was reported by the authors of al-Sunan and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 122. But it is permissible for the husband to enjoy his menstruating wife without having intercourse, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would tell one of us, when she was menstruating, to wear a waist-wrapper, then her husband would lie with her." (Agreed upon).
3.It is permissible for the husband to withdraw (‘azl) if he does not want to have a child; by the same token it is permissible for him to use condoms – if his wife gives her permission, because she has the right to pleasure and to children. The evidence for this is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said, "We used to do ‘azl at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard about that, and he did not forbid us." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/250; Muslim, 4/160).
But it is better not to do any of that, for several reasons, including the fact that it deprives the woman of pleasure or reduces the pleasure for her; and that it cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to increase the number of offspring, as mentioned above.
4.It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life; indeed, this is one of the most evil things. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Among the most evil of people before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spreads her secrets." (Narrated by Muslim, 4/157).
It was reported from Asmaa’ bint Yazeed that she was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and men and women were sitting with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, "Would any man say what he did with his wife? Would any woman tell others what she did with her husband?" The people kept quiet and did not answer. I [Asmaa’] said: "Yes, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah, they (women) do that, and they (men) do that." He said, "Do not do that. It is like a male devil meeting a female devil in the road and having intercourse with her whilst the people are watching." (Narrated by Abu Dawood, no. 1/339; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 143).
This is what we were able to mention about the etiquette of sexual relations. Praise be to Allaah Who has guided us to this great religion with its sublime manners. Praise be to Allaah Who has shown us the best of this world and the next. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
Ibn Mas’ood reported that a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him that he had kissed or touched a woman, or something similar, as if he was asking how he could expiate for this (according to another report: a man had done something with a woman that fell short of actual intercourse. He came to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, who regarded it as something very serious; then he came to Abu Bakr, who regarded it as something very serious. Then he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)). Then Allaah revealed the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): "And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice)." [Hood 11:114]. The man asked, "Is this concerning me, O Messenger of Allaah?" He said: "It is concerning whoever of my ummah does this." (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, 4963).
According to a report narrated by ‘Abd-Allaah, a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, "O Messenger of Allaah, I fondled a woman in the furthest outskirts of Madeenah but I did not actually have intercourse with her. Here I am, judge me as you wish." ‘Umar said to him: "Allaah had covered you, you should have covered yourself (i.e., you should not have spoken of it)." The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not reply at all, so the man got up and left. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent a man to follow him, call him and recite to him the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): "And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice)." [Hood 11:114]. A man who was present said: "O Prophet of Allaah, is this just for him?" He said, "No, it is for all the people." (Reported by Muslim, 4964).
And Allaah knows best.
Masturbation (for both men and women) is haraam (forbidden) in Islam based on the following evidence:
First from the Qur’aan:
Imam Shafi’i stated that masturbation is forbidden based on the following verses from the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):
"And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." 23.5-7.
Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor.
"And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty." 24.33.
This verse also clearly orders whoever does not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations (including masturbation) until Allah enriches them of His bounty.
Secondly, from the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him):
Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood said, "We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066.
The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done.
There are additional evidences that can be cited to support this ruling on masturbation, but due to the limited space we will not go through them here. Allaah knows what is best and most correct.
As for curing the habit of masturbation, we recommend the following suggestions:
1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allaah’s orders and fearing His punishment.
2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet’s hadeeth.
3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.
4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allaah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet’s hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings):
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... " 24.30-31
Allaah’s messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).
5) Using one’s available leisure time in worshipping Allaah and increasing religious knowledge.
6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.
7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.
8) Strengthening one’s willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.
9) Following the Prophet’s aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible, because fasting will temper one’s sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allaah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one’s promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one’s oath to Allaah. Also, note that medication to diminish one’s sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one’s sexual ability.
10) Trying to follow the Prophet’s recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).
11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allaah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadeeth:
"Whoever seeks chastity Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allaah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469.
12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allaah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allaah.
13) Finally, Allaah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah’s forgiveness will be accepted, by His will.
Wallahu a’lam. And Allah knows what is best and most correct.
One of the aims of sharee’ah is to protect people’s honour and to preserve lineages (keep them legitimate). For this reason, marriage has been prescribed, and fornication, adultery, sodomy and lesbianism have been forbidden. All the things that may lead to the above have also been forbidden, such as looking at non-mahram women (women to whom one is not closely related), mixing with them or being alone with them. Dressing improperly and forming friendships with the opposite sex have also been forbidden. All of this is aimed at preventing the provocation of desires, and at directing desires into legitimate channels instead of letting them find forbidden means of expression. One of the principles of sharee’ah is that whatever leads to haraam deeds is itself haraam, so everything that leads to the provocation of haraam desires is haraam, because it may lead to a person falling into fornication and adultery. Once desire has been provoked, it invariably means that a person has to find a way of satisfying it, and so he or she commits a haraam act. Reading stories and magazines with sexual content, and looking at dirty pictures and movies provokes these kinds of desires and leads to haraam deeds, so they are not allowed. We should avoid them and keep away from them. Warn your friend about this and tell her to repent by keeping away from these things and getting rid of any bad books, movies etc. that she still has. She should feel remorse for the past, and should do more righteous deeds from now on. We ask Allaah to grant us all chastity and good health, to purify our hearts and to accept our repentance, for He is the Acceptor of repentance, the Most-Merciful.
Premarital sex, and is it the parents’ obligation
to arrange marriage for their children?
I have heard that it is parents obligation to arrange for marriage of adult children and if they fail to do so, punishment for any sin committed by children is given to the parents.
Secondly, if anyone indulges in sex (not intercourse) with honest intentions to marry that person later, then is the sin committed by them forgiven? How bad is it for a Muslim to do so? Praise be to Allaah.
In answer to your second question, to say that it is permissible for a man to engage in a premarital physical relationship (even if it does not include intercourse) with a woman who is not permissible for him, claiming that he intends to marry her in the future, is total and utter nonsense. This can never be allowed by sharee’ah, and there can be no legitimate relationship until after the completion of a legal marriage contract according to Islamic law (i.e., nikaah).
I sent your first question to Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Jibreen, and he wrote back to me with the following answer:
Yes, it is a duty on the father to keep his children chaste by arranging their marriages, and spending on them and clothing them, if he is able to do so. If he is not able to, but the mother, grandfather or grandmother is able, it becomes that person’s duty to arrange the marriage. If the son cannot afford it but he has the ability to earn a living, it is his obligation to do so, in order to keep himself chaste. And Allaah knows best.
What is Said Just Prior to Intercourse
I have a question that everyone I asked had a different answer for. Does the Muslim have to say anything during the sexual intercourse "nikkah"?, and does the Muslim "husband and wife " have to pray before the first day of sexual intercourse "nikkah"?
Praise be to Allah;
Among the manners prescribed by the shari’ah is that the Muslim should say when he commences intercourse with his wife:
"Bismillaah, oh Allaah, shield us from Satan and keep him away from us and from what You [may] bestow upon us (i.e. children)" narrated by Al-Bukhari, Fath ul-Baari # 138
[transliteration: "bismillaah, allaahumma jannibnash-shaytaana wa jannib-ash-shaytaana maa razaqtana"]
This opening invocation is useful in that if Allaah blesses the husband and the wife with a child, this child will not be harmed by Satan.
As for what is to be said by the husband when consummating the marriage with his wife, please refer to. Question#854 which has been answered previously.
What should a Muslim do when he wants
to consummate his marriage?
I am a 21yr old young man and inshallah next year getting married.
My question is that, i need to know the way a marriage is set to be planned, i mean how is the nikah supposed to be performed, how many people can i invite is there a limit, can i have music, dancing during my wedding or during reception or valima. Also i need to know is that, whose responsibility is it to conduct the nikah and valima, is it the brides, or the bride grooms.
I need to know this answer a.s.a.p. so i could inform my family and inshallah i will implement it in my life, so Allah will bless me and my marriage.
My family is from XXX and so show a lot of custom.
Praise be to Allaah.
When a Muslim wants to consummate his marriage, a number of things are recommended in the sunnah:
1.He should treat his bride kindly and gently, like offering her something to drink and so on, because of the hadeeth narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazeed ibn al-Sakan, who said: "I prepared ‘Aa’ishah as a bride when she married the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). I came to him and invited him to see her (uncover her face). So he came and sat beside her, and a large cup of milk was brought to him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) drank some, then offered it to her, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I rebuked her and said: ‘Take it from the hand of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ So she took it and drank a little, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her, ‘Give some to your companion (meaning himself).’" (Reported by Imaam Ahmad and deemed saheeh by al-Albaani)
2.He should place his hand on his bride’s head and pray for her, saying "Bismillaah" and asking for barakah (blessing), saying the words reported in the hadeeth narrated by ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When one of you marries a woman or buys a servant, let him say: ‘Allaahumma inni as’aluka khayraha wa khayra ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi wa a’oodhu bika min sharriha wa min sharri ma jabaltaha ‘alayhi (O Allaah, I ask You for her goodness and the goodness which You have created in her, and I seek refuge with You from her evil and the evil which You have created in her).’" Abu Dawud said that Abu Sa’eed added: "Then let him take hold of her forelock and pray for blessing from this woman or servant." (Reported by Abu Dawud in al-Sunan, Kitaab al-Nikaah, Baab fi jaami’ al-nikaah; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 341)
3.He should pray two rak’ahs with her, leading her in prayer, because this is reported as being the practice of the salaf (early generations). There are two reports concerning this. (i) from Abu Sa’eed, the freed slave of Abu Usayd, which states that a group of the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught him and told him: "When your wife comes in to you, pray two rak’ahs and ask Allaah for the goodness of what has come to you, and seek refuge with Him from its evil." (ii) from Shaqeeq, who said: "A man called Abu Hareez came and said (to ‘Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood, may Allaah be pleased with him): ‘I have married a young virgin girl, but I am afraid that she may hate me.’ ‘Abdullaah said: ‘Love comes from Allaah and hatred comes from Shaytaan, who wants to make you hate what Allaah has made permissible. When she comes to you, tell her to pray two rak’ahs behind you.’" (These two reports were narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah; see Aadaab al-Zafaaf by al-Albaani).
4.When he wants to consummate the marriage, he should say the words reported in the hadeeth reported by Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said: "When one of you wants to approach (have intercourse with) his wife, if he says: ‘Bismillahi Allaahumma jannibna al-Shaytaan wa jannib al-Shaytaan ma razaqtana (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah, protect us from Shaytaan and protect whatever You give to us from Shaytaan)’ – then if they are given a child, Shaytaan will not harm it." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, no. 3271)
(For more information, see Aadaab al-Zafaaf by al-Albaani, p. 91)
There is no limit to the number of guests one can invite to a wedding feast (waleema), so invite whoever you wish of your relatives, the bride’s relatives, your friends and anyone you have a good reason to invite.
It is not permitted in Islam to do anything that is haraam such as having music, letting men and women mix, or letting women dance in front of men, or other things that earn the wrath of Allaah. How can the blessing of Allaah be exchanged for disobedience and immorality? At weddings, women can do whatever is allowed in Islam, such as singing acceptable songs with good words or entertaining themselves by playing the daff (a certain kind of drum, resembling a tambourine without the rattles) only, so long as no men are present.
Providing the wedding feast (waleema) is the husband’s responsibility. The sunnah is to slaughter one sheep or more for the guests, if he is able to, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf, "Give a wedding feast, even if it is only one sheep." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, no. 2048).
We ask Allaah to bless you and your bride and to grant you a happy marriage.
Permissibility of contraception
Is contraception allowed ?
Contraception is permitted under the following conditions:
1.Mutual agreement of both husband and wife. 2.It does not cause harm. 3.It is not be practiced on a permanent basis, but rather for a temporary period (such as two years until the breastfeeding of the current baby is completed, for example).
Ruling on Intercourse with a Woman in her rectum
Please accept my apology if this questions offends, but in the pursuit of Islamic knowledge, we cannot afford to be shy for fear that if we are not well advised, we may commit a sin.
I have been advised by a friend that there is a "qawl" (opinion) among some ulamaa' (scholars) that it is permissible to conduct anal sex (anal penetration) (between man and wife only) during the time of the wife's haydh (menstruation).
Is this correct?
Please also advise the laws and penalties relevant to it.
Praise be to Allah.
Your apology is accepted. Striving to understand the rulings of Sharee'ah in this and similar matters is not haraam or shameful; it is necessary.
As regards your question, anal intercourse with one's wife is a major sin, whether it occurs at the time of menstruation or not. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) cursed the one who does this: "Cursed is the one who approaches his wife in her rectum" (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/479; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 5865).
The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) also said: "The one who has intercourse with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her rectum, or who goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 1/243; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 5918).
In spite of the fact that many wives of sound nature refuse this, there are some husbands who threaten their wives with divorce if they do not obey them (in this matter), and some even deceive their wives, who are too shy to ask scholars about it, into thinking that it is permissible. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) said that a man may approach his wife in any way he likes, from the front or the back, so long as intercourse takes place in the place from through which a child is born. There is no doubt that the rectum is the place from which waste matter is expelled, not the place from which a child is born.
Another reason why some may commit this immoral act is that they enter upon what should be a clean married life with some jaahili (ignorant) traditions and odd practices, or with memories of scenes from indecent movies, for which they have not repented to Allaah.
It is known that this act is forbidden even if both partners agree to it. Mutual consent to a haraam deed does not make it halaal.
I ask Allah to bestow upon us a proper understanding of His religion and to make us adhere to its limits, for He is the All-Hearing, the One Who answers prayers.
Masturbation between husband and wife
Is masturbation haram between man and wife?
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not haraam, rather, it is permissible, because it is a part of the enjoyment which Allaah has allowed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Those who guard their chastity (.e., [private parts, from illegal sexual acts)
Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame." [al-Mu’minoon 23:5-6]